Balls
by Nokkonen
Summary: The morning was like all the others, except for the little fact that somebody decided to redecorate some of the major buildings in Konoha. Crack.


Title: Balls  
Rating: K  
Summary: The morning was like all the others, except for the little fact that somebody decided to redecorate some of the major buildings in Konoha.  
Warnings: Mild swearing, crack  
Disclaimer: I don't own them. *sniff*  
A/N: This was my entry for Winter 2011 Fanfic Fest. It was absolutely delightful to write it. I cackled so much while writing this. XD I've tweaked some of the parts to make reading better.

- Nokkonen

* * *

A morning like any other others crept over the Village of Hidden Leaves; the shopkeepers readied themselves for the new day, stalls were wheeled for the market place and the night-shifters, both civilian and ninja, slowly made their way towards their homes to answer the tempting call of the soft bed. The Hokage Tower basked in the morning sun, the round hallways empty and waiting for another day. Shadows twisted and expanded and a silent voice whispered words "Kuchiyose no Jutsu" that echoed silently in the air. An hour later Tsunade, who was grumbling slightly at the hangover she was suffering from, went inside, the ever diligent Shizune following her with Tonton.

Yes, it was a morning like all the others, except…

"WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THIS? SHIZUNE!"

The loud roar of pure rage boomed through Konoha, scaring a good number of the villagers and causing another part to cover their ears as stream of curses started to flow from the Tower. ANBU had materialized as soon as the Hokage had opened her mouth, alerted by the violent flaring of her chakra:

"Tsunade-sama, are you – ," Cat murmured but was stopped dead on his tracks at the sight that greeted him.

Balls.

There were balls, hundreds, probably thousands of them. Green balls, blue balls, yellow balls, red balls and they were scattered all over the Hokage's office, the plastic-y roar filling the building as the tsunami of colors moved through the hallways. The spheres quickly flooding the whole building. Tsunade herself was standing up to her thighs in the sea of brightly colored balls, looking positively furious as she continued kick them away from her.

Shizune's distressed voice came outside the office: "Tsunade-sama, the whole Tower has been turned into a ball pit!" The brunette struggled to walk towards her mentor and hold onto Tonton.

Tonton didn't look as uncomfortable as it examined all this rather curiously, the small snout twitching as it oink'ed and squirmed in delight. Shaken by what had happened, Shizune's hold slacked enough for Tonton to fall from her arms. A loud squeal was heard as the pig disappeared from sight.

"Tonton!" the both women gasped and dropped on their knees, practically diving in to the balls.

Cat and the two other ANBU who witnessed this did not know how to act when your leader was almost engulfed by bright balls and frantically throwing them aside to find her pet pig. Was this a plot to throw them off their balance? 'If it is, then it's working,' Cat admitted mentally as he detected nervous twitch from the youngest ANBU, the tightly controlled chakra coiling uneasily around the woman. That didn't bode well; edgy ANBUs were quick to kill the first thing that surprised them.

Like on cue, the abrupt burst of chakra signaling Kotetsu's appearance nearly cost him his head. The man froze on the windowsill as the sharp edges of the two katana suddenly came to rest on the skin of his throat.

"Ho-hokage-sama," he stuttered, swallowing as he eyed the glinting blades and made sure not to move before the swords had moved away. The two masked figures nodded apologetically, retreating. "Patrol found something odd at the arena of Chuunin Exams, the whole place is – oh," Kotetsu stopped and blinked as Shizune surfaced with Tonton in her hands, "you have the same problem."

Tsunade turned around, glaring sharply at the man."What problem?" she barked.

"The arena, Hokage-sama, it's turned in to huge ball pit."

"WHAT?" Tsunade shouted, the plastic balls flying in every direction like a multicolored fountain as the woman jumped on her feet. "Cat, call in squads 2 and 5, I want search the whole village and Shizune, summon every available Inuzuka to help track down this bastard," she ordered and tried to walk towards her desk, "and Kotetsu, get someone to clean these bloody balls!"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," the three voices said in unison and disappeared from the office.

Finally reaching for her chair, Tsunade slumped down and pinched the bridge of her nose. "And it started as a nice morning," she muttered under her breath, pulling out the little flask of sake.

* * *

"At least the Academy's clear," Genma murmured to Raidou and Aoba as he peeked inside the empty classrooms, "although I would have loved to see Tsunade-sama's face when she was flooded with those balls." There was an amused tone in his ever-present drawl, the corner of the aloof jounin's mouth quirking.

"This is a serious matter, Genma," Aoba chastised, looking most nervous from the three, "someone just planted several tags inside the Tower _and _arena, then connected all them with chakra-wire for one huge summoning and all this happened right under our very own noses."

"He's right," Raidou admitted anxiously, watching as Genma opened another door, "although the one who did this must have rather large chakra reserves to do two large summoning."

"Or the guy wasn't alone," Genma muttered and quickly slammed the door close, startling the two other tokubetsu , although they were too skilled to show it but showed open confusion when the man suddenly leaped to the ceiling and molded chakra to stay there upside down.

Then they heard it, a whisper came from the other side of the door and a loud 'bamf!' that always followed summons, and the whole building just _rumbled _as thousands of plastic balls packed against the closed doors that gave under the pressure and flooded the whole Academy. Genma witnessed with a small wince how Raidou and Aoba suddenly disappeared underneath the plastic tsunami with a distressed wail – the honey-haired man thought the cry came from Raidou, but wasn't sure.

But what he had said had been true.

There had been two chakra signals inside the classroom.

* * *

A patrol flew over the rooftops towards south while another led by an Inuzuka sped on the opposite direction on the ground-level. After Academy the perpetrators had hit two other buildings; the library's roof like a waterfall made of rainbow as the balls landed on the street, and the inner yard of the hospital just next to the wing where children were treated. Needless to say they were more delighted than the rest of the villagers.

Tsunade's ire had grown since morning, swearing that whoever was guilty of this were going to regret the day they were born and to be demoted back to genin for the rest of their lives; since unfortunately the only true damage was a few broken door, it could not justify torture.

"Get me Kakashi, the brat has a nose and ninken, too!" she growled, holding back the urge to burn the remaining balls inside his office, because Tonton looked quite happy playing with them.

"Senpai has been assigned to a mission yesterday and isn't due back until tomorrow," Cat informed, not even flinching when a green ball in Hokage's hand was crushed. "So far Shiranui Genma is the only one to have any kind of clue and that is the number of people involved in this," he continued, knowing this tidbit of information would not satisfy the woman.

Tsunade casted an annoyed gaze to her village, biting one of the manicured nails. Even from here, despite rather long distance, she could see the too bright, artificial colors against the Academy building as a group of jounin-sensei with their genin teams were emptying it from the balls. This was not an attack against them or a challenge to make them look unprepared in front of the other hidden villages.

No this was more like a prank but Naruto was still traveling with Jiraiya and sensei's grandson wasn't capable of pulling a stunt like this Tsunade mused with a scowl. Wait, that ringed a bell. Wasn't there…

"Shizune!" Tsunade yelled and turned sharply on her heels, "get me the file P-12 from archives and look for information that dates older than ten years!"

The ANBU cocked his head, wondering just what the woman had just realized.

* * *

"Quiet now!" the dark shadow hissed sharply, his slightly wild look turning in to glare that was directed to at the trembling shadow next to it and was trying to hold back laughter, "you do realize that Tsunade-sama is going to castrate us both if we get caught? I don't know about you but I'd like to keep my balls."

A snicker escaped from the other man, almost turning in to full-body laughter but a hand was slapped over the soft lips. "Yes yes, bad choice of words but I'm serious. How did you even manage to tempt me in to something like this?"

The hand was pried away and he was gifted with a wicked grin. "You like the adrenaline, beloved," the darker man purred, dark brown eyes glinting mischievously.

"Yes, but I like my balls more," Kakashi muttered, feeling bit weary from the rushed mission and co-operating all those summons.

A rich sound filled in the small cave at his words, the echoes bouncing back and forth from the rocky surfaces and the light of the lantern showed a row of perfect teeth. As much he liked to listen and watch Iruka laugh, the jounin fought back the jump because the sound was too damn loud to his stressed ears that were straining to for any pursuers above ground.

"How long you think Tsunade-sama is going to be pissed off at us?" Iruka asked but didn't sound worried at all.

Humming, Kakashi changed his position, and their shins tangled together. The cave was so small that they both had to bend slightly not to hit their head and nestle very close to each other. "Couple of days if she doesn't find the sake and the scroll that makes the jutsu disappear soon enough. In worst case scenario it'll take the rest of the month."

The chuunin hummed back, moving his legs and accidentally – or not – brushed Kakashi's inner thigh, making the older man shiver. "I do have some off days I haven't used yet, maybe we could take this as an impromptu holiday?"

A small snort escaped from Kakashi."Maa, in case you haven't forgotten, sensei, I'm still officially on a mission," he reminded with a wry smile, "I say we should go back some time tomorrow, unless you have the intention make me a MIA."

"Or a missing-nin," Iruka grinned, the sparkle still in his eyes, "imagine, the great Copy-Nin goes rogue after a small prank."

The laughter died on the dark-haired man's lips as the jounin surged forward, pushing Iruka on his back in to a very interesting position with legs resting against the strong shoulders. The lantern's light showed that the impish grin hadn't and didn't fade when Kakashi stared down at Iruka with a dark gleam in his eye. It actually stretched even wider, turning in to a really wicked smirk and the silver-haired man bent to kiss Iruka.

It was a chaste touch, no tongue or teeth, just a press of lips but it was all they needed at that moment.

"Then I'll make you a missing-nin, too," Kakashi whispered gently, nipping the marred skin of the horizontal scar, "I refuse to leave you in the clutches of Tsunade-sama, to be tortured by those hellions you call students and endure the advances of evil Anko."

"What about the Hunter-nins?" Iruka asked, the twitch of his lips still making him look like the Cheshire cat.

"They'll never find us, I'm too good for them and – hey!" Kakashi grunted when he was poked rather hard, the finger digging to his rib even through the vest.

"_You're _too good for them? May I remind you just who came up with this idea?"

"Fine, you're too good for them, O chuunin-sama," Kakashi huffed, smiling as the pony-tailed man chuckled, the vibrations traveling up his thighs.

Iruka was about to say something but the sudden freezing of the man above him, muscles tensing and neck craning towards the narrow tunnel. The chuunin stilled too, brown eyes watching how the lantern drew the shadow sharp outlines of Kakashi's face on the rock surface. His ears strained to hear what had alerted the jounin, the eerie silence filling the small cave as the men even stopped breathing.

Kakashi felt the hair on his neck stand up, the smell of dogs warning him long before the actual sound.

" –maru, you can't fit ther – "

The pale fingers drew marks on the dark-haired man's thigh in fast and precise strokes. _Inuzuka. Move out. Assist me._

Nodding, Iruka blew the small flame off, darkness falling over them.

Outside, Kiba growled in frustration, fists full of white fur as he tried to pull the stubborn dog out of the damn hole. "You idiot, I told you it's too small!" he muttered, fingers slipping.

Whining, Akamaru struggled to back off from this trap. The dog could smell Iruka-sensei- human and Kakashi-sensei-human at the end of the tunnel, the trail stopping there. Akamaru wondered why they were hiding like rabbits. Why was that? Iruka-sensei-human and Kakashi-sensei-human were not rabbits.

The brown-haired boy was about to use some chakra to help him, when a sudden burst of same energy came under the ground. Akamaru started to bark loudly, howling that the Iruka-sensei-human and Kakashi-sensei-human had escaped.

"What?" Kiba shouted, his hold slipping and falling ungraciously to his ass, "Iruka-sensei?"

* * *

"I knew it!" Tsunade slammed her hand on the desk, the impact causing several scrolls to roll on the floor, "Cat, track down chuunin Umino Iruka."

"Iruka-sensei from the Academy?" the man asked, already calling his team to fall back for update.

"Yes, he's our man," the woman explained, waving a file in her hand, "that brat, I should've known from the start."

"And the other ninja?" Cat inquired, two shadows materializing behind him.

The hazel eyes narrowed as Tsunade considered that. _Since Naruto's gone but there's only one person who would help Iruka-sensei pull off something like this, a certain jounin_, Tsunade realized. "It's Kakashi," she barked out loud, chakra flaring as her annoyance grew, "the brat's been in the village this whole time."

"Senpai?" one of the ANBU's gasped, and Cat's eyebrows rose high underneath the porcelain mask.

* * *

_Shit, they've found us_, Kakashi swore as the sound of pursuers came again and this time it stayed on their trail.

The chuunin running next to him must have heard it too, if the grim look on his face eyes was any indication. But despite the fact that they had finally been found, Iruka's eyes still held the impish, challenging sparkle and the tan man sped up his pace. Kakashi had to grin at that, feeling the adrenaline rush that he usually associated with missions but this time he had no fear of getting in to a bloody fight.

Iruka was right, Kakashi loved the way his blood rushed in through his veins, chakra pulsing strongly from the deepest core of his body, heart pounding in his chest, senses alert. It was exhilarating and in one way it gave him far better rush than sex. _Maa, maybe not_, Kakashi grinned and watched how the dark-haired chuunin flew past him, giving a marvelous view of his behind.

A flare of familiar chakra made Kakashi glance at his right, seeing a white mask running next to him. Behind him, the jounin could sense three more ninja move in to catch the chuunin. A need to protect Iruka from the ANBU, even though they were from the same village, surged through Kakashi and the half-lidded eye must have shown some of it, because Cat nodded and whistled sharply at his team. Raising his hand to acknowledge the offer, the silver-haired man easily caught his lover, forcing Iruka to stop.

The tan cheeks were ever so lightly flushed and his breathing barely uneven from the run, but otherwise Iruka looked no different. The grim look hadn't vanished, neither the glee in his eyes, but there was a hint of worry as the silent team of masked assassins surrounded him and Kakashi.

"Iruka-sensei, we've ordered to bring you to Hokage-sama," Cat informed politely.

Sighing, Iruka spared a look at the sky. "Well, it was fun as long as it lasted," he murmured and locked his gaze to the dark eyeholes of the mask, "how angry she is?"

"Quite angry, but she found the sake you left for her and the scroll just before we left."

"Maa, then there's hope she'll forgive us," Kakashi drawled hopefully, trying to gauge any hints from the team.

"I wouldn't be so sure, senpai," Cat sighed, suffering, "Hokage-sama has been very angry the whole day because of this… prank."

A small laughter escaped from the dark-haired chuunin, startling all of them. Iruka gave such foxy grin it would have made Naruto jealous, the brown eyes sparkling challengingly. "Please let Naruto know his senseis passed away in an honorable way," he asked the bewildered ANBUs, before leaping away and starting towards the village center.

Kakashi and the team stood there, watching the distance between himself and the chuunin grow fast.

"He's rather… interesting person, senpai," Cat picked his words carefully, eyeing the silently laughing Copy-Nin.

"Oh, you have _no_ idea, Tenzou," Kakashi grinned proudly and they hastily sped after Iruka.

END


End file.
